How To Cope With Children Fighting
What do you do when kids fight? My kids are not perfect and today they had a fist fight. You see, we can't control what our children do but we can control our reaction to it.
I was busy working in the kitchen when I heard some bad language coming from my boys. So I decided to go and investigate. The three boys were all in a heap on top of each other in the lounge and they were having a scrap about something. For those of you who don't have boys, you will never understand. This is a "boy" thing.
Sam was choking so I quickly separated the boys. Then I was given a barrage of "he did this then I did this and he did this..." My mind was spinning as I was trying to figure out the best way to deal with this violence. the boys all went to their rooms and I went to see each boy separately to get the story about what had gone down.
And do you know what? My boys gave me three different versions. Hmmm...
Now the boys picked a bad time to have their fight as I had earlier on that morning given them permission to organize sleepovers at it was the school holidays. I felt for the kids and I told them that they would have to postpone their sleepovers. Then I decided to hatch a plan... so I went out for an hour and them home alone.
I had to get to the bank before it closed and thought I would give them a chance to earn back their sleepover by some good behavior. I was kind of hoping that while I was out the boys would get together and devise a plan to earn back the sleepover by perhaps doing some extra chores or something a bit special. After all it was the school holidays and I didn't want to be too mean to them...
When I arrived home with my groceries I had a pleasant surprise. One of my kids was washing up the dishes, another was cleaning in the bathroom. The third boy was busy in the lounge tidying up. YES! My plan had worked.
Now here is where we as parents need to learn to extend grace to your children. Sure, I could have stood my ground and canceled the sleepovers. But when my kids show me that they are sorry for their actions and try to make amends I like to extend a bit of grace towards them.
I sat the kids down and we had a chat. Everyone apologized to each other and we discussed how we could have dealt with the issue another way and still had a good outcome. The end result? The kids still got their sleepover. Mum extended grace to them this time. And the kids know that next time, the penalty will be more severe.
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